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And that’s about the time she walked away from me

What does it mean to settle? Or even worse, to be ready to settle? I feel like I have been working incredibly hard for the past six years of my life in order to ensure I have a good base to settle with. And yet it seems that I am stuck with the aura of being a juvenile freshman who wants to have zero commitments. I feel like having a laid back humorous personality is starting to hold me back. I can’t be taken seriously. And despite the fact that I really do give a damn about the things I am passionate for, I am taken as joke value. I can make people smile, but I can’t make people listen.

I am regressing back to my junior/senior high days when my self esteem was the size of empty. I am wallowing in my own selfishness and self pity. I am so polarized, such a vessel of opposite attitudes. I go from smiles to Daisy Downer faster than the shots can make my cheeks flush. I can jump from apathy to overwhelming passion instantaneously.

Its actually quite annoying.