traveling with pain

Its been a long time since I have blogged; and I am mostly blogging out of spite.  Today we were supposed to fly out on Flair airlines to Toronto; everything seemed to be going right this morning; we packed and cleaned; I got up early at 6 am to workout right away; leave time from home was supposed to be 1pm- there should have been plenty of time; anyways that went up in smoke; we had a birthday cake to celebrate a birthday; but then suddenly in the car I overhear W saying we need to call the airline because we might not make the minimum time for baggage check in;  in the end, as we made the airport under a slow build up of duress, I ran to the counter with our luggage and got an immediate no head shake from the Flair airline agent; subsequent discussions with the other Flair agent amounted to nothing; we could either board the plane without our luggage, or we could try to rebook another day. There is no option of having the baggage sent on another flight as others have apparently had happen on Air Canada. So……a  quick review of other flight tickets shows quite a considerable cost with really no major difference to flying out a few days later (the wedding were heading to is next weekend so we had a few days to buffer). I told W that it wasn’t worth the savings of a few hundred compared to the minimum 2000 CDN we were going to pay to get on Air Canada last minute. So here we are on the plane, 2000 CDN short and I’m remarkably calm. I did lots of CBT with myself and W noting what do we have control over, what are our should haves and could haves, and how useful are those could haves and should haves. Catastophic thinking that there was no way out of this mess also krept up in my mind but awareness of those thoughts put a stop to that. CBT thanks. Dwelling on what went wrong and whos fault it was would not change anything. Keeping cool for regulation to help a visibly distressed W was also important for moving forward with the situation; she did not need reminders or a panicked me compounding the situation, and emotional dysregulation would not change anything. So here we are.

It was really funny, as we left home I was thinking to myself, man I left my tie clip at home, I’m going to be so annoyed without it; an hour late, I was like oh wow two thousand surprise cost; and then I’m excited to save 3 dollars for the Woxbox Saturday special and I even lucked out and got to choose the Pure Leaf iced tea that wasn’t supposed to come with the combo! What a roller coaster ride. I’m still hurting though haha. That would have given me enough money to buy the 70-200 f2.8 SAL and 24-70 F2.8 SAL lenses, both which I have been pining for.

Totally generally fine on the plane eating shitty ginger beef  from Wok Box …until I open my laptop. The small tiny sort of forgettable LCD bleed pixel mess has exploded into five inches across my 13 inch screen of a pixelated shit hole that makes me sad looking at it; I don’t know what happened; its possible that it exploded on its own; its also possible that H stepped on it because I left it by the scale and she likes to step on the scale and was certainly doing so this morning. Anyways, that certainly did not help me; I am on edge from this afternoon’s financial kerfuffle and this bleeding LCD is just mocking me. Of course its on my 15th anniversary VAIO special edition laptop, so that helps with my frustration a lot. I wouldn’t have taken this traveling,  except that we are also going to Los Angeles in a hotel and I don’t want to carry one of my big laptops traveling and need a Kensington lock port so I can lock it up in the hotel. Its annoying but workable; a good condition VAIO Z3 runs about 300-400 CDN which is a tiny amount really for a laptop, I just happen to really like this laptop. Anyways CBT again to the rescue; I’m clearly doing catastrophic thinking and thinking that the end is near, now that my LCD is damaged. Currently my favorite is the VAIO Flip 15, which isn’t damaged yet…I hope. I’m on the look out for a VAIO F2 with a i7 quad core right now; I’m hoping for a white one but they are very rare on eBay and Kijiji.

I’m currently listening to the White Stripes about dealing with problems; if the squirrel can put away nuts to survive the harsh winter, so can I. Or something like that. I’m sure my problems fall in the realm of first world problems but whatever; I can validate my problems anyways. I also had a difficult time choosing which camera to bring for this trip; I didn’t want to bring full frame, because I did not enjoy shooting full frame when I was in Banff; traveling with full frame and primes was just such a hassle that I wanted a smaller option with zooms.  I debated hard against my RX10 Mark I (skipped that because I don’t think the IQ is that good and the sensor while bigger at 1 inch, wasn’t that great; focus is also meh on this; I did however really want to ring that nice 24-200mm f2.8 equiv lens); the G1x (really like the IQ, handing and size of the G1X but the slow focus and meh battery life were challenges for sure); and the a6000 with the 18-105F4 G lens (ended up with this one because of the IQ and fast tracking continuous AF with the kids). Ideally I would like to grab a G1x II for its pretty decent 24-120 F2-3.9 lens and 1.5 inch sensor (twice the size as a 1 inch sensor but not quite the improvement with noise handling because of the age of the sensor) and overall handling. I missed out an auction recently that I am sort of beating myself over with the G1x II. After using the G3x a bit more I am a fan of Canon’s handling overall,and sort of hooked on expanding my G-series collection. Looking back, I’m happy I brought the a6000; the tracking is really good in continuous AF with kids; I took my 35mm f1.8 as well for night time if I need (and its small enough to fit in my kit to carry around without feeling burdened unlike my full frame primes like the 35mm f1.4. I would like to add the Sigma 16mm f1.4 to my apsc lens kit though, as I think that would be a very nice pairing with that sensor size. I find f1.4 at full frame borderline useless for my shooting needs most of the times (mostly because I don’t really need that type of shot for what I usually do).

This week was a wonderful week in therapy; every time I state, no I do not do parent custody and access work, it somehow gets brought into my lap, no matter how many times I iterate that statement. So that was an exciting week. I definitely get where the parents are coming from and feel terrible for the stress they have dealing with these issues for sure, but its so far out of my expertise and experience that I just simply have to say no. I need to just do like bug phobia work or something. One of my colleagues has switched entirely to adults only in therapy to avoid problems with parent custody and access work and that doesn’t sound like a bad idea t me really.

Workouts have been pretty decent this week. I had a good day for chest – I did 22 sets of 4 reps of 250lbs on the Smith machine flat bench press; I usually don’t brag about Smith machine accomplishments, but I know where my limits are on that machine so that was nice. Dead lifts went fine this week. Legs wasn’t too bad this week either. I tried to make sure I did all my major compound exercises before I left for the wedding tour of Toronto and Los Angeles, as I think most of the time will be spent doing cardio; I’m happy with the treadmills in our LA hotel; I can do my sprint exercises there, and hopefully there will be wi-fi in the gym. I’m planning on doing outdoor runs at Toronto in the morning, as I have done in the past. Was considering going to the local YMCA as well, which might negate my fears of being away from lifting too long. I have been making pretty good progress with intermittent fasting so far (its been about a month since I started IF, using a 12pm-9pm eating window and a 15 hour fast. I’m seeing more people doing a 16 hour fast and 8 hour eating window and I would like to move to that eventually. I find it a bit hard because I do have evening shifts that interplay with that window. The Harvard med blog I read about IF suggested longer fasting windows are associated with greater weight loss, and so far I have been pleased with my aesthetic progress with my gut. I haven’t been worried about my physical performance for some time, so now I’m hoping to get a good gain on aesthetics. I’m somewhat tempted to check out Venice Beach gyms but those guys look like gods amongst men, and I’m a bit shamed at my poor aesthetics. Anyways, I’m excited about IF because that helps me maintain my gains or hopefully make gains while traveling. My gut seems to be showing part of my upper abdominals now and that’s sort of neat. Sort of like how my laptop screen looks like crap and all I can say is “neat” and maybe “FML”. I haven’t done sprints in a few weeks but I have enjoyed that immensely; a few buddies have been meeting at school tracks and doing 100m and 200m sprints. I feel really good after these workouts and certainly feel I am hitting new parts of my fitness hygiene that I am not doing with strength training, stairs, or running. Also my heart rate is below 50 at standing rest; my search online suggest either I have a heart deformity and need to have that investigated or I am living an athletic lifestyle and am very healthy. I’ve dropped my lowest so far in the last 4 years I think to 186lbs; I’m aiming to get to 180lbs four months from now which I think is quite doable. I think my ideal weight will be in the 175 lb range with my current performance numbers being maintained.

Parenting is really difficult. I can absolutely feel for the parents I work with when they discuss being Mean or Weak Circle of Security terminology wise and the therapist keeps telling them how easy it is to just simply not do either of those parenting blips. I’m reading Parenting from the Inside Out from one of my fave authors, Dr. Siegel right now. One of my former clinical leads ran this group at our clinic using this material and I’m hoping to get a different perspective from this book. I’m feeling a bit stale with the work that I am doing clinically and parentally (word?) with the material and experience I know at this point, so hope this helps somewhere.

I haven’t done anything with audio in ages; honestly the convenience of bluetooth and the sound quality level of APTX and AAC is good enough for me that I have not really looked back to my old portable systems like the PHA-2 headphone amp, ex1000 earphones, and zx1 DAP; I dunno I think the WF1000x and WI1000x (the one I brought for travel) have plenty of convenience with size and portability that I haven’t really had a hankering to do any upgrades or sidegrades. I do think that at some point I would like to grab a pair of Z1R and IER-Z1R cans from Sony at some point; I think being a sony collector and audiophile (ish) sort of begs me to collect their flagships; it just happens they make good enough stuff at the flagship consumer level that I’m happy. I did however bring a portable bluetooth speaker with me; I realized last time I came that a pair of headphones was not enough; sometimes I like to workout with just speakers and the stereo speakers in my z3 tablet are not great even at close range, nevermind in small room. I actually haven’t used the Soundmatters FoxL gen 1 speaker in a long time; I usually use the SRS-X33 Sony at the staff gym (which is sort of meh in sound quality and not that portable); the SRS-XB41 in tandem stereo (which sounds alright and has lots of flashy lights); and the BTX500 (which I like the sound a lot but not portable); I wanted to take something that would take up minimum space and still sound alright. One of the first portable Bluetooth speakers ever (it pushed the passive radiator to add to the low end), its aged tremendously over the years but it still sounds great (I first noticed it just because of how it sounded when I walked by a demo in London Drugs). Anyways, even though I had to bring a stupid mini USB cable to charge it, it still seems worth it for me for travel.



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