I’m in a pretty annoyed state right now. There is nothing I can really do at the moment, and I’m completely locked in an emotionally draining conflict. There’s a sense of being completely powerless, something I am not quite used to, which is being challenged by a supportive group of friends which prevents me from matching the two criteria of traumatic injury- disempowerment and disengagement.
At any rate, its been a tough two months and I am pretty sure most people are sick of hearing me whine about how shitty my life is, when my plight pales in comparison to those of others, but I can live with that and wallow in my own selfishness. >__<
I went to go talk with my advisor yesterday to determine my future after graduation, as well as determining how I was going to graduate. It was kind of nice to actually set things in motion, which I generally lack the commitment to do, for fear of disappointing academia. Even though neuropsychology has not been my upmost favorite topic to research, it would be nice to actually get into the field and see what it is like before completely dismissing it. Also I think that I need money as well as more things on my CV other than winning tag on the playground against elementary kids. I realized yesterday that if I want to have any potential future doing my doctorate, I would actually need to show the committee that I have a little more firepower other than fun and games. Hm. So it looks like my summer plans have been set. Also good news- although there are not necessarily any researchers looking at group phenomena and bullying combined, I have met one of the counselling psychology doctoral students who is doing work with cross cultural bullying, and I may have some leads as to who I could nab as a potential supervisor. Nice.