One thing I am particularly ashamed of myself is letting my emotions get a hold of me. I am a firm believer in maintaining a calm cool collected state, where logic and reflection overrule feelings, instinct and reaction. This is the only manner with which a professional in child care, education and psychology must work under. To lose rationality reduces humanity to nothing more than animal like behavior. Every action following it is simply a reaction to stimuli in the environment, with little regard to reason. I feel that I become incoherent and simply would like to act in the name of my instincts. It is to my shame that I sometimes have let my feelings get the better of me. It has hampered my professionalism, left regret and created a false cloak of happiness. It doesn’t matter which emotion it is, to let any take over is to reduce one to nothing more than a beast. I am perhaps over analyzing myself and grasping straws at what is likely a minor issue, but this is the way I feel. Is emotion grasping the reigns of my mind even now, when I desperately claw for any sense of sanity? Perhaps. Either that or the bottle of Smirnoff is finally kicking into gear.
Last night I had one of the most brilliantly orchestrated evenings of my life (!). My friends from work decided to throw a shindig to celebrate the end of summer. This was largely augmented by the fact that we would be having alcohol at this shebang, a substance that I have just started consuming mere weeks ago. I am not particularly proud of finally getting on this so called booze train, but I am beginning to understand what it means to get together, have a few drinks and have fun. We had three noise complaints, a call from the landlord, and I was able to spend some time with a girl I find particularly amazing. Most of the night was spent with friends, finally opening up to old junior high buddies, discovering the quiet coworkers you have never talked to, and realizing where your limits are. We all drunk in a responsible manner, with me staying overnight(did not make it to Oil City, but made it to couch!) and then sobering up for the final stretch of the day. Everyone was completely fine by the time morning came (aside from being really really tired, unwashed and generally very dirty), but it was a terrific team building experience. I would say that some might call this rather irresponsible, but I found that it was finally the experience which would make our staff work as a team. Everyone worked hard together knowing that everyone was in the same boat at work, so we eventually managed to make the workday so fucking awesome it was unreal. I actually enjoyed going to work for once, knowing that my mates were all rooting for each other. To be quite honest, I have never felt more motivated to make my job work well, by pulling more than my weight, and ending the day with a great slam (a science experiment that made the kids scream with excitement for a straight final hour). This is important because it is the final moments of an event (or how high of a stimuli the peak moment was) that people are most likely to remember and formulate a final encompassing memory from. You know what was the greatest part of recovery? Fucking McGriddles with two hasbrowns and a coffee. Damn.
This week, Canon released two interesting compact cameras. The S90 is the (finally!) successor to one of my favorite series of all time, the Canon S Series (S is for Semi Pro- I do not count my shitty ultrazoom S3is as one of them). The Canon S80 is one of my favorite designs, albeit its hardware is largely outdated by today’s standards. I was a huge fan of the S series, with its full control, great lenses and fantastic design. It was just a slightly larger/more gorgeous point and shoot. Like the prosumer line, it was considered dated with the advent of the cheap DSLR. There was little to distinguish the line from the billions of pocket cams dominating the FutureShop shelves. I was sad to see the demise of the line, but understood it made little sense for Canon to keep pushing the expensive compact. Lo and behold, the Panasonic DMC-LX3 shook the photography world with its tight lens/sensor/looks, and is still selling/is sold out at full price, nearly a year after its release (whilst competitors from Canon and Nikon dwindle in comparison).
The Canon S90 comes nearly 4 years after its predecessor(an eternity in the tech world!). Bringing with it a fast f2.0-4.9 28-105mm lens (equally fast, less wide, but with much more optical reach than the LX3), the Canon has also stepped down the tarded megapixel race, to goto a more sane 10 MP sensor (which Canon has emphasized as being much more sensitive to light). Give that with a smooth, sleek body, and a lens ring to control various functions to operate like a mini SLR, it offers a lot to the advanced amateur compact line. Really not the biggest fan of the design so far (a little too bland compared to previous S iterations, albeit the design is likely to grow on me when I hold it in person), I still enjoy the resurrection of one of my favorite design lines.
The other important announcement is that of the Canon G11, the successor to the somewhat popular Canon G10. With it comes the revival of the swing out LCD (a standard G series characteristic until the G7), a nice 2.8 inch screen filled with a sharp 461, 000 pixels. More importantly, Canon has finally pulled its head out its asshole and realized that everyone hated the 14.7 MP sensor on the G10. Akin to the S90, the Canon G11 brings the lower 10MP “high sensitivity” sensor. Will this perform as well as Sony’s newest back lit sensor technology (doubtful, since the Canon’s is simply a lower MP count sensor, and not different sensor technology), is something to pull interest into. If I could say I love a camera design, the Canon G11 is one of them. I fucking love the G11’s design. The retro design, tank like quality and a hot shoe to put a nice flash gun on (for the increasingly popular portraiture party shots I have been taking), and I am all over that like white on rice.
Edit- I youtube linked the Sounds’ Midnight Sun. A solid track with an edge of despair.