>Close Minded Awkwardness


I feel frustrated and annoyed with both myself and my inability to express my emotional state in a civil manner. I have begun to mold myself into the type of person who will not step down from an argument, despite the dethroning rational thrown at me. Years ago, I was the person who would let everything slide by, and everything seemed well. Except for the fact that points that I believed in were shunted aside for fear of stepping up to the plate/offending somebody. I have now thrown myself completely to the other end of the spectrum, where I am adamant that my point is to be heard and largely unchallenged. Which is entirely wrong. I am such a firm believer in constructive criticism, that in order for us to obtain the highest truth, we must open the floor to all perspectives and take them into consideration for the concluding statement.

Yet here I go, always entwined in an emotional surge, always relentless and never stepping down from my one minded thought. To think that I was annoyed with others on the same token! (oh the irony and hypocrisy!) What can I do to change this? I must always remain rational and check my emotions at the door. I just seem to get so riled up, I largely ignore the other voices around me and wallow in my self righteousness.

I find it largely frustrating that I am annoyed with the close mindedness of others, and yet sit in my own walled fortress, impenetrable to none. I’m such a hypocrite. I need to pull my head out of my ass before I point fingers.

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