>Self esteem = up

>So interestingly I have had one awesome shitfest day. And I say that with compelte enthusiasm because I have consumed three cups of coffee since 10 pm and its now 15 past midnight and I am wired as hell. So much for getting a better sleep pattern.

One of the biggest things to happen to me this term was breaking my hand. Idiotically, I punched a couch and in my fit of insanity did not think about the consequences. Of course there was the direct effect of completely screwing my exams because it was my right hand that was broken. Another problem was not being able to body build.

Since mid summer, I have been on a euphoric high at the gym; strength, endurance and physique have led me to an almost conceited level that I am embarrassed to admit to. Ok maybe not so conceited that I walked down the street expecting the world to stop right then and there, but certainly I was a little more confident than normal. Which might actually be a good thing, given that I’ve always wanted a little more backbone, a little more assertiveness in my personality.

Anyways, after being unable to goto the gym, slowly but surely, my physique has dropped to the point of confident to take my shirt off to wanting to wear shape hiding sweatshirts all the time. I kind of feel like I’m not the best I could be. I realize its shallow being obsessed with body image, but as a bodybuilder, its something I strive for. My triad in life- friends/family, physical fitness and academics had been shattered. I felt like an underachiever. I didn’t have that satisfaction of completing a set, or moving up weight classes. It was just study all the time. Boring.

Yesterday I got the ok mark from my physiotherapist to start weight lifting again. I must admit, its been terrible so far. My body obviously cannot take it at all. But Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was my fitness level. Patience is the key here, and not expecting achievement in a matter of days, but rather months.

Today I walked into Hollister and was shopping for Christmas gifts, when two of the girls working there started chatting. I love chatting so I went along thinking this was going to end up with something stupid like “I love the choice you made in purchasing this sweater”. I mean, that would be appreciated that my ability to buy clothing was respectable, but its hardly something that I would actually give a damn about. However, the talk soon ended rather abruptly with a ” We are looking for managers and I think you would be a great choice!”.

I definitely did not expect that. She offered her name/digits and a brochure about their program and what it offers. Mind you there’s no chance in hell I’d enter the retail industry again after prolonged exposure at the Gap and Bluenotes, but still. Its a generous and flattering offer to be viewed as manager potential simply from a 2 minute conversation. I’d like to add that they were pretty attractive as well.

I’d also like to add that this is a total plug for bragging, but hey I haven’t had a nice pick up in awhile, so I feel obligated to bust out on my blog. 🙂 Anyways long story short, I feel a lot more satisfied in my abilities especially in my “people person” skills. Awesome. Excuse me while I bathe myself in confidence.

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